Eleven years ago this summer, a troubled white man entered the historic Mother Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, S.C., and opened fire on a group of Black worshippers who had welcomed him into their Bible study. He intended to start a race war.

He failed.

He failed not just because the racial murders horrified a nation, but because many of the victims’ families chose forgiveness over vengeance.

Speaking at the bond hearing for the gunman, Nadine Collier, the daughter of Ethel Lance, said, “I forgive you. You took something very precious away from me. I will never get to talk to her again. I will never be able to hold her again, but I forgive you, and have mercy on your soul. … If God forgives you, I forgive you.”

A relative of Myra Thompson added: “I forgive him and my family forgives him. But we would like him to take this opportunity to repent.”

The lesson from modern-day South Carolina echoes much of American history: Terrible tragedy tangled up with amazing acts of grace, courage and overcoming. It’s the kind of grace that then-President Barack Obama summoned at the funeral for Mother Emanuel’s pastor, the Rev. Clementa Pinckney, when he said, “He knew that the path of grace involves an open mind — but, more importantly, an open heart.”

Obama’s famous rendition of “Amazing Grace” at the memorial service continues to echo across Charleston more than a decade later, most especially on a recent civil rights pilgrimage to Charleston hosted by the Washington-based Faith and Politics Institute, and led by Senator Tim Scott, a Republican, and Rep. James Clyburn, a Democrat.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I’m found,
Was blind but now I see.

Our pilgrimage traced the lives of historic figures who lived out a fundamental component of pluralism: advocating for the civil rights of those who are different. We learned about Robert Smalls, a slave who stole a Confederate steamship and joined the Union cause in 1862. Smalls was elected to the South Carolina legislature and U.S. Congress. During his service, Smalls advocated for public schooling access for all people – not just people of his own race.

Judge J. Waties Waring was a leading figure in South Carolina’s white legal establishment and stood up for the rule of law— at great risk to himself and his reputation — in the destruction of “Separate but equal” legal segregation.

Our travels took us to Fort Moultrie, where Confederates fired upon Fort Sumter at the start of the Civil War; to Kahal Kadosh Beth Elohim Synaogue, the second oldest synagogue in the United States; the International African American Museum; and finally, to Mother Emanuel.

Mother Emanuel’s current pastor, the Rev. Dr. Eric S. C. Manning, delivered an entire Sunday sermon focused on divine grace: the way that God’s favor and love pursue us and find us even when we are lost or running away. According to Christian theology, this grace is sparked by God’s action, not ours.

Christian scripture teaches that our response to God’s love and grace should be to offer it to each other. This form of grace is shared and perpetuated by our own actions. There are few sites in modern American history that represent human grace as clearly as Mother Emanuel. Manning’s sermon brought the crowd to its feet at numerous times, the organ swelling behind him when he really got going.

A few blocks away, the African American Museum stands on the spot where hundreds of thousands of enslaved Africans were trafficked into the United States. Civil rights activist and “The Voice of Selma” Bette Mae Fikes brought the room to its feet with her own powerful rendition of “Amazing Grace.” This notion of grace deserves our applause — and our dedication — at this moment of deep division, violence, and injustice.

Charleston does not teach us that grace is easy; it teaches us that grace is most necessary when it is most difficult.

There is no one-size-fills-all approach to living a life of grace — especially in our public life. None of us can rush the process of forgiveness. For all the examples like the families of the Mother Emanuel victims, there are those who also need more time to process, heal, and forgive. When harm is being perpetuated, the harm must be stopped, and justice must be served, even as we search for the path of grace.

To build a pluralistic society in which everyone can thrive, we need to have the grace to advocate for people who are different from us, and to defend the rights of all people — regardless of whether they look, vote or think like us.

As we embark on this national journey on the 250th anniversary of America’s founding, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to reference. We can mark the pain and suffering of the past and the present, while allowing room to celebrate our progress and rededicating ourselves to the cause of justice.