{"id":34513,"date":"2023-09-18T18:50:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-18T18:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.interfaithamerica.org\/?p=34513"},"modified":"2023-09-18T18:50:04","modified_gmt":"2023-09-18T18:50:04","slug":"curiosity-can-be-vulnerable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.interfaithamerica.org\/article\/curiosity-can-be-vulnerable\/","title":{"rendered":"Curiosity Can be Vulnerable, but It Can Teach Us a lot about Each Other"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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My friend Karen recently asked for my take on the word \u201ccuriosity.\u201d She belongs to an anti-racism committee at her Christian church, Plymouth Congregational. <\/span><\/p>

Plymouth has been around for a long time. The only other church that has been around for almost as long is Corinthian Baptist Church. Both churches are only three miles away, but since the 150 years they have been established, neither church has made large-scale efforts to talk to each other. Karen had a hypothesis as to why: race. Plymouth\u2019s congregation is predominantly white. Corinthian\u2019s congregation is primarily Black. These racial and cultural differences affect how each community practices Christianity.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Karen felt that these differences masked the similarities that bound both congregations together. She worked with her anti-racism committee to commit to a year of bridge-building with Corinthian Baptist Church. Karen called the project \u201cConnecting with Curiosity.\u201d In the spirit of bridge-building, Karen thought \u201ccuriosity\u201d was the first place to start. But some members of her anti-racism committee disagreed. For them, \u201ccuriosity\u201d was a bad word. When Karen told me this, at first, I was confused. Wasn\u2019t \u201ccuriosity\u201d a universally positive comment? Like \u201crainbow?\u201d Or \u201cvacation?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

According to a few of Karen\u2019s committee members, curiosity is overly intellectual: it comes from the head, not the heart. Curiosity is the word used to describe a scientific researcher with a hypothesis who collects data to determine if this hypothesis is false. Interfaith allies are apparently not scientists.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

\u201cIs curiosity a bad word?\u201d I asked myself this question as I sat in front of my keyboard, not yet ready to compose an email reply to Karen. Then, a memory caught me by surprise. A memory from my childhood. A memory from daycare.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Spoiler alert: I hated daycare.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I hated the food, <\/span>especially<\/span><\/i> \u201cants on a log.\u201d Yes, the peanut-butter-coated celery sticks topped with raisins. My peanut allergy transformed this gourmet toddler treat into a nightmare. While my peers happily munched away, I sat at the peanut-free table with my untouched \u201craisins on a stick.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

But there was something, <\/span>someone, <\/span><\/i>I hated even more than this dreadful snack. Steven.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Steven was a little older than me, and he made it clear that he didn\u2019t like me. He never smiled at me and cringed when I protested nap time. He scowled when I talked during reading time. But strangest of all, he shuddered at the sight of my <\/span>patka. Because of my Sikh faith, I choose not to cut my hair. When I was five, my hair touched my lower back. A \u201cpatka\u201d was the cloth I used to cover my hair at school.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

One day, Steven approached me on the playground. He reached up from behind with deft hands and pulled my patka off my head. My long, black curls came tumbling down. Cackling, Steven sprinted off towards the blacktop as if his secret mission had gone as planned.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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JJ with his 4th grade best friend, now dawning larger turbans, before a Beatles Rock Band duel. Courtesy photo<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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My ears rang. My cheeks burned. My jaws clenched. Without my patka on, I felt naked. No one at daycare had ever seen my hair before.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I looked up to see my teachers towering over me. The look of horror on their faces startled me more than Steven\u2019s prank. It was an expression I had never seen my daycare teachers make \u2014 something between helplessness and panic. It felt like the ending from Humpty Dumpty where all the king\u2019s horses and all the king\u2019s men couldn\u2019t put JJ\u2019s hair back together again.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

The daycare staff called a joint meeting with my and Steven\u2019s parents. Steven\u2019s mom apologetically explained that Steven had Autism, and part of his Autism manifested in severe rule-following. By wearing my <\/span>patka<\/span><\/i> to daycare, I was wearing a <\/span>hat<\/span><\/i>, which was breaking daycare law in Steven\u2019s eyes.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Steven\u2019s mom said she would talk to him about the incident on the playground, but she couldn\u2019t promise us that it wouldn\u2019t happen again. One of the daycare teachers then turned to my parents and asked, \u201cWhy is JJ\u2019s hair so long?\u201d\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

My father gave a brief synopsis of our Sikh faith and a core belief of our faith: that our hair is a sacred gift from God. After a momentary silence, there was a single follow-up question: \u201cSo\u2026how do you tie it?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

My mom got up from her seat and demonstrated in live action. All the daycare staff huddled around her. If they had notepads, I swear they would have been furiously scribbling down what they saw, like medical students watching a skilled surgeon in the operating room. It all happened so quickly. My mom split my hair into three parts, formed a loose braid, twisted the braid into a top knot, tied my patka over my hair, and voila, Humpty Dumpty was back together again. Returning my hair to its original state, I suddenly felt more at ease and less naked.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Curiosity can feel uncomfortable because before we can exercise curiosity, we must exercise another muscle that is painful to stretch: vulnerability.<\/span><\/span><\/h3>

Not long after my daycare days were over, my dad started coming to my homeroom classes at elementary school once a year for \u201cTurban Time.\u201d It would start with a trivia round on world religions, basic facts about Sikhism, and finally, the moment everyone seemed to be waiting for \u2014 turban-tying. The trivia got harder as the grade levels increased and the turbans grew bigger. By middle school, my classmates knew about Sikhism so well that when new students arrived, I wouldn\u2019t need to explain my faith to them; my friends would do that for me.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I remember once, during a Turban Time session, a student raised their hand to ask my father a question about our faith, but the student started with, \u201cSorry\u2026this is a stupid question\u2026\u201d My father quickly interjected, \u201cThere\u2019s no such thing as a stupid question.\u201d This small statement seemed to shoo away some invisible elephant in the room because a lot more hands suddenly shot into the air.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Curiosity can feel uncomfortable because before we can exercise curiosity, we must exercise another muscle that is painful to stretch: vulnerability. My experiences growing up as a Sikh in Iowa have taught me that there is an essential link between curiosity and openness. I am not sure my father knew it then, but he made a brilliant parenting move. It\u2019s not like my father thought one day, \u201cThis kid will get asked many questions at school because of his appearance \u2026 I need to make sure he is comfortable being vulnerable.\u201d But that is precisely how my parents raised me.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Papa introduced me to experiences I never knew I would need, from encouraging me to run for Vice President of my elementary school so that I could practice sharing my story in front of the entire student body to encouraging me to let my hair down for our school talent show and sing \u201cStayin\u2019 Alive\u201d so that students could see my long hair. This vulnerability to reveal myself and make myself and my faith legible in front of a large audience lies at the core of my being.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

If I could talk with those daycare teachers today, I would tell them thank you. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for being curious. Thank you for doing what great educators do best \u2014 learning from your students more than your students could ever learn from you. Beyond expressing gratitude, I would also humbly request that you add a sun butter substitute to your ants on a log; \u201cants in the sun\u201d is simply more accommodating.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\tJJ Kapur<\/h2>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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JJ Kapur is<\/span> a first-generation Sikh American and a proud Iowan. Last summer, <\/span>JJ<\/span>\u00a0graduated from Stanford University with a Theater and Performance Studies degree. Afterward, <\/span>he<\/span> returned to my hometown of Des Moines as an AmeriCorps Lead for America Fellow. <\/span>He serves<\/span> with<\/span> <\/span>CultureALL<\/span><\/span><\/a>, a non-profit bringing Iowans together from diverse backgrounds to create a shared sense of community. At <\/span>CultureALL<\/span>, <\/span>he\u2019s<\/span> building a human library across Iowa called <\/span><\/span>Open Book<\/span><\/span><\/a>. Open Book storytellers are Iowans from <\/span>d<\/span>ifferent cultures<\/span>,<\/span> religions, and identities. <\/span>They <\/span>give \u201cReaders\u201d the chance to \u201ccheck out\u201d a \u201c<\/span>b<\/span>ook\u201d from our catalog, listen to a chapter from their life, and have a conversation with the storyteller. <\/span>JJ hopes<\/span> readers walk away from an Open Book experience with a newfound appreciation for what happens when we choose not to \u201cjudge a book by its cover.\u201d<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

JJ Kapur writes about growing up in Iowa and his parents and childhood educators who created spaces for curiosity and sharing about his Sikh faith.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":34517,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[150,1483,75],"lab_enabled":[],"lab_focus":[],"lab_experience":[],"lab_goal":[],"lab_user":[],"lab_sector":[],"lab_priority":[],"topic":[21],"acf":{"original_url":"","original_author":"Jeevanjot \u201cJJ\u201d Singh Kapur","show_latest":true,"show_banner":true,"featured":false,"hide_from_latest":false},"yoast_head":"\nCuriosity Can be Vulnerable, but It Can Teach Us a lot about Each Other - Interfaith America<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"JJ Kapur writes about growing up in Iowa and how his parents and childhood educators created spaces for sharing about his Sikh faith.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.interfaithamerica.org\/article\/curiosity-can-be-vulnerable\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Curiosity Can be Vulnerable, but It Can Teach Us a lot about Each Other - 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