Find commonality in sharing stories or memories.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\nFocus on shared underlying values (like family, love, safety, health, etc.) and\/or shared (abstract) dreams for the future (like peace, respect, dignity, etc.) rather than any particular social or political issues. If you\u2019re spending this time with family, consider focusing on old family stories, ancestry, traditions, etc. or having friends share their memories or holiday traditions.<\/p>\n
\n- What can be gained from the conversation?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
If you find yourself heading into a heated discussion, ask yourself what you hope to and reasonably can gain from it? Most likely, no minds will be changed. But you could learn something about someone else while still disagreeing. Try to understand through asking questions and active listening why other people reach the conclusions they do, without arguing or contradicting. Interestingly, if you focus exclusively on someone else\u2019s views without arguing, more often than not they will reciprocate and ask about yours.<\/p>\n
\n- Strengthen the relationship.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
When all is said and done, in most cases, the goal should be to preserve (and perhaps strengthen) the relationship. As long as you remain in relationship, not matter how stressed, thin, or difficult, there is always the possibility of mutual understanding and love.<\/p>\n
We hope this helps with the many conversations over the end of the year holidays and throughout the year! For more on how to navigate difficult conversations, check out our Bridging the Gap<\/a> program, conversation resources<\/a>, and a new course<\/a>.<\/p>\nInterfaith America staff members Tina Grace<\/a>, Megan Johnson<\/a>, Noah Silverman<\/a> and Allie Vroegop<\/a> contributed to this article.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n \n